Quotes about comedy
1,001 quotes from 337 people
You kill me and I’ll see that you never work in this town again.
Steve Martinborn 1945As Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr in The Man with Two Brains (1983)Sir, you have but two topicks, yourself and me. I am sick of both.
Samuel Johnson1709–1784Life of Samuel Johnson (1791), Vol III (May 1776) p. 313He could shake your hand and stab you in the back at the same time.
Hunter S. Thompson1937–2005He Was A Crook (1994)Foucault, like David Letterman, made smirking glibness an art form.
Camille Pagliaborn 1947Junk Bonds and Corporate Raiders: Academe in the Hour of the Wolf, p. 187I think every good Christian ought to kick Falwell right in the ass.
Barry Goldwater1909–1998Said in July 1981, on Moral Majority founder Jerry Falwell’s opposition to Sandra Day O’Connor’s Supreme Court nominationI don’t care how much a man talks, if he only says it in a few words.
Josh Billings1818–1885Affurisms. From Josh Billings: His Sayings (1865)I looked into his eyes and saw three letters: a ‘K’, a ‘G’, and a ‘B’.
John McCain1936–2018On Vladimir Putin; a line he used often, e.g. first presidential debate (26 September 2008)My whole life is waiting for the questions to which I have prepared answers.
Tom Stoppard1937–2025Lord Malquist and Mr Moon (1966), Ch. 2: A Couple of Deaths and ExitsIt would have been better if you had died and Gershwin had written the elegy.
Oscar Levant1906–1972On a friend’s elegy for Gershwin; recounted in The Memoirs of an Amnesiac (1965)It’s my belief we developed language because of our deep inner need to complain.
Lily Tomlinborn 1939The Search for Signs of Intelligent Life in the Universe (1985), As “Trudy”The people of Crete unfortunately make more history than they can consume locally.
Saki1870–1916The Chronicles of Clovis (1911)I bet the worst part about dying is the part where your whole life passes before you.
Lily Tomlinborn 1939The Search for Signs of Intelligent Life in the Universe (1985)People who have no weaknesses are terrible; there is no way of taking advantage of them.
Anatole France1844–1924The Crime of Sylvestre Bonnard (1881), Pt. II, ch. 4I’d always thought her half-baked, but now I think they didn’t even put her in the oven.
P. G. Wodehouse1881–1975Jeeves in the Offing (1960)Tell me, George, if you had it to do all over, would you fall in love with yourself again?
Oscar Levant1906–1972To George Gershwin; recounted in A Smattering of Ignorance (1940)