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Quotes about comedy

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I cannot speak well enough to be unintelligible.
Jane Austen1775–1817Northanger Abbey (1817), Chapter 16In context
- Talking
I’m not technically rich, but I do have a lot of shit that I don’t need, and I refuse to share with others.
Maria Bamfordborn 1970The Now Show (2006)
- Money
I’ve never really thought of myself as depressed so much as I am paralyzed by hope.
Maria Bamfordborn 1970The Now Show (2006)
- Hope
She said I was afraid of success, which may in fact be true, because I have a feeling that fulfilling my potential would really cut into my sittin’ around time.
Maria Bamfordborn 1970Comedy Central Presents Maria Bamford (2001)
- Success
The only thing I regret about my past is the length of it. If I had to live my life again, I’d make the same mistakes, only sooner.
Tallulah Bankhead1902–1968Tallulah: My Autobiography (1952)
- Age
I’m as pure as the driven slush.
Tallulah Bankhead1902–1968Tallulah: My Autobiography (1952)
Nobody can be exactly like me. Sometimes even I have trouble doing it.
Tallulah Bankhead1902–1968Tallulah: My Autobiography (1952)
My father warned me about men and booze, but he never mentioned a word about women and cocaine.
Tallulah Bankhead1902–1968Tallulah, Darling: A Biography of Tallulah Bankhead (1980), p. 2
Libertarianism. A simple-minded right-wing ideology ideally suited to those unable or unwilling to see past their own sociopathic self-regard.
Iain Banks1954–2013Transition (2009), Chapter 13 (p. 326)
- Clever Jabs
- Politics
People say graffiti is ugly, irresponsible and childish. But that’s only if it’s done properly.
BBanksyborn 1973Wall and Piece (2007)
- Art
Thank you to every American who has not sued me so far.
Sacha Baron Cohenborn 1971Golden Globe acceptance speech, Best Actor (Musical or Comedy), Borat (15 January 2007)
Of course the Neverlands vary a good deal. John’s, for instance, had a lagoon with flamingoes flying over it at which John was shooting, while Michael, who was very small, had a flamingo with lagoons flying over it.
J. M. Barrie1860–1937Peter Pan (1911), Chapter IIn context
- Children
‘How clever I am,’ he crowed rapturously, ‘oh, the cleverness of me!’
J. M. Barrie1860–1937Peter Pan (1911), Chapter IIIIn context
- Pride
A guy could have one major limb lying on the ground a full ten feet from the rest of his body, and he’d claim it was ‘just a sprain’.
Dave Barryborn 1947
- Dave Barry
I hate rap music, which to me sounds like a bunch of angry men shouting, possibly because the person who was supposed to provide them with a melody never showed up.
Dave Barryborn 1947
- Dave Barry