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Quotes about comedy

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This is like deja vu all over again.
Yogi Berra1925–2015
- Yogi Berra
The leading cause of death among fashion models is falling through street grates.
Dave Barryborn 1947
- Dave Barry
It makes me mad when people say I turned and ran like a scared rabbit. Maybe it was like an angry rabbit, who was going to fight in another fight, away from the first fight.
JHJack Handeyborn 1949
- Jack Handey
The only flaw in the Hinckley trial is that it left a lot of people with the impression that psychiatrists are just a bunch of bearded voodoo doctors who espouse confusing and wildly contradictory theories that have nothing to do with common sense. This is totally unfair. Many psychiatrists are clean-shaven.
Dave Barryborn 1947
- Dave Barry
I just finished my first book. Pretty soon, I’m gonna read another.
Rodney Dangerfield1921–2004
The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl.
Dave Barryborn 1947
- Dave Barry
We humans do not need to leave Earth to get to a hostile, deadly, alien environment; we already have Miami.
Dave Barryborn 1947
- Dave Barry
It always rains on tents. Rainstorms will travel thousands of miles, against prevailing winds for the opportunity to rain on a tent.
Dave Barryborn 1947
- Dave Barry
Over the next hundred years or so football saw a great many major innovations and refinements that are too boring to even think about. Along the way professional football came into being so that the largest and most violent college players would have a way to earn money other than simply demanding it from innocent civilians.
Dave Barryborn 1947
- Dave Barry
To me, clowns aren’t funny. In fact, they’re kinda scary. I’ve wondered where this started, and I think it goes back to the time I went to the circus and a clown killed my dad.
JHJack Handeyborn 1949
- Jack Handey
Magnetism, as you recall from physics class, is a powerful force that causes certain items to be attracted to refrigerators.
Dave Barryborn 1947Quoted in Bobby Mercer, How Do You Light a Fart?: And 150 Other Essential Things Every Guy Should Know about Science (2009).
- Dave Barry
When you come to a fork in the road, take it.
Yogi Berra1925–2015
- Yogi Berra
When I read about the evils of drinking I gave up reading.
?Unattributed
I’ve got more trophies than Wayne Gretzky & The Pope combined!
HSHomer Simpson
- The Simpsons
I almost had a pyschic girlfriend, but she left me before we met.
Steven Wrightborn 1955
- Steven Wright