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Quotes about comedy

1,001 quotes from 337 people

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You may have genius. The contrary is, of course, probable.
Oliver Wendell Holmes Sr.1809–1894
- Clever Jabs
- Genius
Stuffwise we are not a lean operation. We’re the kind of people who, if we were deciding what absolute minimum essential items we’d need to carry in our backpacks for the final, treacherous ascent to the summit of Mount Everest, would take along aquarium filters, just in case.
Dave Barryborn 1947
- Dave Barry
Nothing you can’t spell will ever work.
Will Rogers1879–1935
The taxpayers are sending congressmen on expensive trips abroad. It might be worth it except they keep coming back.
Will Rogers1879–1935
- Clever Jabs
Nothing wrong with Southern California that a rise in the ocean wouldn’t cure.
Ross Macdonald1915–1983The Moving Target (1949)
- Clever Jabs
A nickel isn’t worth a dime today.
Yogi Berra1925–2015
- Yogi Berra
I have just returned from Boston. It is the only sane thing to do if you find yourself up there.
Fred Allen1894–1956Letter to Groucho Marx.
- Clever Jabs
Why buy good luggage? You only use it when you travel.
Yogi Berra1925–2015
- Yogi Berra
A bore is a fellow who opens his mouth and puts his feats in it.
Henry Ford1863–1947
- Clever Jabs
I’m not popular enough to be different.
HSHomer Simpson
- The Simpsons
If you can’t imitate him, don’t copy him.
Yogi Berra1925–2015What Time Is It? You Mean Now?: Advice for Life from the Zennest Master of Them All, Simon and Schuster, 2003, , p. 15
- Yogi Berra
Just the omission of Jane Austen’s books alone would make a fairly good library out of a library that hadn’t a book in it.
Mark Twain1835–1910Following the Equator (1897), Ch. 59.
- Clever Jabs
If God didn’t want us to eat animals, why did he make them out of meat?
HSHomer Simpson
- The Simpsons
She was what we used to call a suicide blond⁠—dyed by her own hand.
Saul Bellow1915–2005
- Clever Jabs
The only really good place to buy lumber is at a store where the lumber has already been cut and attached together in the form of furniture, finished, and put inside boxes.
Dave Barryborn 1947The Taming of the Screw (1983)
- Dave Barry